Monday, November 26, 2012

湿被子

为何妥协?
为何总得在你面前低头?


此刻就算在房间里,也听不到平时你大喊着我的名字,把我当成什么了似的点东点西。
那种感觉,我非常讨厌。连着波来的时对你的憎恨。

每次我都记得你说的那些话,还有语气,然后在你犯错时,以其人之道还治其人之身,然后我脸上一脸得意。
那很爽快,但是却满足不了我,暂时还没想到有什么办法可以对付。

你总爱说我这个不帮忙,那个不帮忙,那在我帮忙的时候你说了什么?
就算你说了什么,我也不需要。我只要做我想做的,当我没mood做时,你的一大堆烦人的话也只是吹进脑里的耳边风。

你还很讨厌我问的“废话”。
如果这世界上都不需要这些话,天下大乱了耶!哪来的那么多common sense?我就是喜欢打破砂锅问到底!就算那个东西看起来像砂锅,我也是要问:那是什么东西?
拜托,世界何其大,每个人的观念都不一样,有些人比较艺术,对他而言,砂锅不是砂锅。
或许我就是那种人。



部落格里的草稿,打了几行字,又被删掉了
在我心里深深明白,想法总是和事实自相矛盾
我毕竟也是个感性的人,要我把感觉忽略了,拜托,也得总有个理由吧

心在和脑打口水仗时,我顿时觉悟了
我得学会和自己的内心对话,而不是老是用耳朵听来别人的言语来和自己骂架
经常备受精神上的折磨不就是因为不懂得与自己的内心对话吗?




为什么我满心期待,一整天都在想要以什么姿态去见老朋友,却偏偏要我妥协留下来照顾那得了手足口正的女孩?
身为母亲难道不能为了女儿而请假无微不至的照顾自己的女儿,陪她度过这关吗?
为什么世界就是那么不公平,当你想要的时候你都能得到,因为你计划你聪明你勤力,
而我要的时候却偏偏出了差错?也许是因为我缺了运气,时机不对。

哈哈。什么烂东西~就算我主动妥协,也心不甘,情不愿,因为没人感谢!
这都被认为是应该的,哪来的那么多感谢~


紧握拳头,不如松松手指头。



*喂!朋友!别因为自己有了一对朋友就顾着自己去玩,把我丢了。

我在伤心着呢...


 Wet! Yean Yee.
12.41 a.m.
27.11.2012

Friday, November 23, 2012

人生几何



时间划过,地球在转动,人事物也在变化

我习惯待在自己的安稳地带
眼看别人改变了:好的,心里难免会露出一丝羡慕,恶性的羡慕;坏的,会体验到同理心。

小姐脾气,那好臭好臭的脾气,还是改不了
呆在家里,一星期几乎每天都会因为家务事发个一次吧
——我真的很讨厌被吩咐做家事。

别忘了,我是水瓶女孩。

就是很讨厌被吩咐的感觉。
有点像是叛逆的心理,你越是要我做,我越是不做
嘴子硬,里子软。到最后还不是得乖乖就范...

大概这就是为何我长不大的原因吧。



没有人会真的在意你,就你自己才是真心在乎自己。
每个人都有自己的生活,哪管得了你那么多?
曾经我把好朋友当作男朋友般看待(不是蕾丝边的意思),就是我们之间没有任何事是被隐瞒的,我懂你的,你也知道我的。
但其实这不过是我一向情愿,把别人当作全世界,而你在别人眼里只是个聊得来的乘客。

当然,每个人心里都有秘密,不可能把任何事都告诉你
但其实我也只不过想知道你的生活而已
那...是秘密吗?
我以为我们是最要好的朋友。

或许,姐妹的境界才如此吧,在我看来。














曾经沧桑难为水,除却巫山不是云。
我好怀念中二那次到国家公园露营的经历啊~

旅途中,我凝视着窗外,思考着当初我写下的TO DO LIST完成了多少
思考着我们之间的关系,真的可能像那句话,“真正的好朋友就算是很久没见面了,也不会尴尬”?

我把这句话当成了你视界里的规则,仿佛预告着我将被忽略,然后我们也还是会像以前一
样。


我野蛮,我任性,我讨厌这样——被忽略。
就像男友不该把女友忽略了一样。

有人说,失去一个好朋友比失恋还要难受。
虽然失恋里我好遥远,我却能深深感受到前者的情况有多么难理~


缘分会尽?
还是一切决定在人的想法?


换个角度想,没有事情是不可能的。


时间过得真快,我快19了。
缘分什么时候到来?
多希望那位像李大仁那样,我不开心时能和我聊一聊,能容忍我的野蛮任性。
我会耐心等待,他的到来。

总把事情想像得太夸张,会疲累了自己啊。
那也只是想想。
没遇过实际情况,谁也不知道会发生什么事?




我期盼的,你拥有了
我能以什么样的心情,去把这些看开?
心已超载了。

全世界都在变,唯独我没变。
嗯。。。落后了。




*写完这篇,放了出来,我又要后悔了。。。
Feeling is killing.
No longer midnight, Morning =)
24.11.2012

Monday, November 19, 2012

Sis's Wedding

I always wanted update my blog but...watching drama keeps distracting my mood to write a post~ I just can't kill two birds with one stone. And I was lazy to update, too. *weeeee



Last week I was busy with my sis's wedding. Well, why I was busy? It's not my wedding. Hehe! I went her house to help clean up her room and also decorate it. Not helping much but did help :) Erm...I planned to on diet so that I will look beautiful on dress but I failed to do it...FAILER! Anyway, I still wore those dress and do not care how fat I can be.

Here's the pictures!


Outfit of the night Before 18.11.2012

Secret on the back!

Outfit for wedding dinner !
I forgot to take the picture for the day because I was tired and hungry after the traditional wedding process >.< Bridesmaid is me. It's fun:) and I am honoured to be her bridesmaid. I helped sis holding her pinky long gown during the dinner when they went around "yum seng" with every guests ! Louis (Sheng Sheng) was dancing when I fed him ate meatball when the dinner started! He moved his body like he enjoyed the music very very very very much! Really!

I went crazy when wearing the contact lenses. I don't know how much time I used to wear them but I was frustrated after trying umpteenth times that fail to wear it! Urghhhhhh~~~~









Happiness =D




Congratz! XDD
Wish you guys happy always: )


Short updates! I am addicted to the drama! Ciaooo~~

Yean Yee
19.11.2012

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Judge a book by its Cover, Never.

Well, I must say, at the very first of this semester, I am feeling that my classmates are more to academic students who work so hard to do homework and more maths.t exercises. As time pass, I can now actually see that, it's not what you can see with your eyes. Although they prefer to spend their recess on the class, eating the meals they bring to school, but it actually doesn't mean anything, which we could so suprise what's going on with this people, isn't that they should go out for a while during recess to gap for fresh air? Now, I am proud to say, THAT'S OUR CLASS STYLE! Dont ever tell me that your class do not have a single people who prefer to stay in the class during recess. It's just their life style, you don't have the right to interrupt,* but as a friend, you should know what to do ya.

I admit, maybe the first of this semester, we weren't talking to each other, but it's because we are all from different class and schools. We do not know much about each other and you know, sometimes people would like to stay on their comfort zone rather than talking to others as some just not so social, like me. I do start the friendships and I don't know how to maintain it. I would if you are on my best friends.(Terms and conditions apply. ;P) Because I m just not so the social type and,trust me, I dont know how to have a conversation with people.

We do chit-chat and we have joy in our class.We sing along when someone's birthday but not as merry as other because....i dont know, we are too shy to sing out loud. And friends share their study techniques to each other and plan which day to absent!! And they are so smart that you can ask them on study when you dont understand and they are willing to explain and tell you. Such so great! For me, they are my little teachers and my friends =)


13 days to go! I am so happy and grateful when I finished one chapter of Maths T with the help of my classmate.


And...I was so hyper(i mean excited) when Sheng Sheng , my nephew, was on the phone said Yes! he wants to sleep overnight here with me tonight !!!! His sound was just like a girl which was very high pitch! o f course he wasn't tell the full sentence and it's quite unclear of what I heard. Come to me BABY! You are my sweetheart >v<

GAMBATEH! Tomorrow , I will absent and go to Midvalley with mum and aunts to buy heels for occasion of  my sister's wedding which held on 18 Nov this year.

Ciao!


When I was missing you and thinking why we are not talking any more, you poked me =)

23.10.2012

Friday, October 12, 2012

0

阅读零极限,虽是懂非懂,却还是让我获益不浅

实话说,我还是学不会沟通,一个眼神或一个我不喜欢听到的回应就能让整个对话崩溃。
很糟吧。我懂。却不会。




清理 清理 清理。。。
净化内在
一切念头,情绪
清理 清理 清理。。。

乔说的没错,就好像赌瘾一样
那种想法,那种情绪,在记忆里
就好像瘾一样,在我内在里转啊转啊转。。。
我好讨厌这种感觉。。。
那反叛的心理,想纠正别人的心理,又来了
好讨厌,我要清理。

在愤怒来临前的一刻,我想起了以前我所抱住的“信念”或可称为“想法”——没有你,我一样过得很好
是多么大的错误。
对不起,请原谅我。

HOOPONOPONO提供了让人净化内在,和转化一切成为更好的方法
我想问为什么没有记载怎么处理人与人之间的沟通呢?



对不起
请原谅我
谢谢你
我爱你


爱,的力量。
拯救我。






谢谢。谢谢。

旆倪
感恩,天

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Ho'oponopono

考完试后我放松了三天!

星期五咱们PRS带小瓜们儿到KLCC Petroscience 一日游!
发育中的孩子真的不容易理解,也不怎么会跟他们沟通,有些实在是爱顶嘴得不得了,我只能闭上嘴巴  吞声忍气。
庆幸少数的瓜儿还不错“听话”啊~这些都是在班上大多数时间都被排挤的...唉,孩子啊~
每次只要去到这些好玩又新奇的地方我就兴奋得不得了,马上转身便成小孩一个!

久违了,泳池!
一下水做呼吸时看见清澈的蓝水,灯光照入水里,我仿佛进入了另外一个世界
就好像自己变成了水娃儿,在水里畅游,那里是我家。

游泳是很累,却让人喘得很爽的一种运动!

或许运动后的喘气是种难以言喻的爽吧!



谢谢你,我爱你,我自己。

对不起,请原谅我,对自己说。


“对不起,我爱你,谢谢你,请原谅我”

我的水罐上贴着的贴子,写着以上四组词
记得几年前阿姨给我这贴子时,只记得她说要常说这四句话(对别人吧?我记不清了)

直到 现在我才发觉这四句话的来源——零极限

一本关于Ho'oponopono,一种夏威夷疗法的心灵书本。

说实话,以我的修行  我还不太清楚书本里写的,该怎么用这四句话,所以也不知该怎么介绍如何用这四句话。

只知道,对不起,请原谅我,谢谢你,我爱你,是对自己内在说的。=)

请待续...

晚安!

旆倪
1.05a.m.
8.10.2012




Sunday, September 30, 2012

Nervousness

考试就在下个转角  我被逼到墙角


谁?谁?谁?


是谁在逼我?


对,就是那个,我。



一切的责怪都无济于事   却是放不过自己

连续两夜    含泪入睡


频临精神崩溃


好想找个人诉苦
却意外发现...好像身边一没有一个这样能给我安慰的人

算我要求高,想找个不用我说,一个也知道眼神便了解我想要的那种安慰方式


“Without saying a word, you can light up the dark”




(When you say nothing at all painting by Rodriguez,copied from fineartamerica.com)



“我什么都还没准备
大后天就考试了”
这种想法只会让我陷入陷阱。
对,我的确踩了进去。好深。


一切发生的事,都是注定唯一那样发生的。
如果?没有如果。

有时会在偷偷地想,所选择的是否适合,正确。
毕竟我不是那方面天才。
但,我还是拒绝了那样的想法。
坚持下去。


力克说:坚持下去就会有结果。

尽管这次考试,我预知成绩将难以接受,不堪入眼,
但还是脚踏实地,走到哪就到哪吧!

中秋快乐=D




















YY.
30.09.2012