Sunday, September 30, 2012

Nervousness

考试就在下个转角  我被逼到墙角


谁?谁?谁?


是谁在逼我?


对,就是那个,我。



一切的责怪都无济于事   却是放不过自己

连续两夜    含泪入睡


频临精神崩溃


好想找个人诉苦
却意外发现...好像身边一没有一个这样能给我安慰的人

算我要求高,想找个不用我说,一个也知道眼神便了解我想要的那种安慰方式


“Without saying a word, you can light up the dark”




(When you say nothing at all painting by Rodriguez,copied from fineartamerica.com)



“我什么都还没准备
大后天就考试了”
这种想法只会让我陷入陷阱。
对,我的确踩了进去。好深。


一切发生的事,都是注定唯一那样发生的。
如果?没有如果。

有时会在偷偷地想,所选择的是否适合,正确。
毕竟我不是那方面天才。
但,我还是拒绝了那样的想法。
坚持下去。


力克说:坚持下去就会有结果。

尽管这次考试,我预知成绩将难以接受,不堪入眼,
但还是脚踏实地,走到哪就到哪吧!

中秋快乐=D




















YY.
30.09.2012


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Amazed Power

When I was doing MT Courseworl, I was wondering...

What is life? 
How would my life be?
Who am I in the future? 
Will be I a teacher? 
or just a promoter works at supermarket? 
or a waiter in a cafe? (wow, sounds fun! )
or just a whatever?

And I was awaken. I know what I want, though I dont have an exact answer.
I want my life be meaningful. I dont want be a promoter at the supermarket for my whole life.
I must admit ,promoter is a good job. Many people and experiences can be learn during work. My bro said that.

Therefore, I know it. I must study hard, in order not to be a failure, like I am now.

The following two weeks are going to be as busy as a bee! Tension Exam week!
So as the following months...November is the STPM real exam. so have to work really hard to get Superb results to prove I CAN!!! And I am not a lazy bud anymore! :-D

Gotta go! Ciao~

Xoxo,
Y.Y
23.9.2012

Friday, September 21, 2012

心。孔。空

人往往赶不上的就是改变
变化让我无法适应,每天都好孤独

没有交心的对话,生活变得不那么完整

空虚,寂寞,在踏入校园那刻便侵蚀着心灵

没有了精神支柱,没有了灵魂,什么样的生活都不会带来甜的滋味

或许甜,其实也不过过眼云烟,并不是真实的

别把甜甜的收藏地密密在心里,只有有意地回忆起(冥想),才能让它给你增加正面能量,带出它背后正真的意义

生活再灿烂,也要有人分享才显得可贵

没有了,没有了啦

一个人,一个人了...





就像起航的木舟离灯塔,渐行渐远...

旆倪
21.09.2012

Thursday, September 6, 2012

生命密码里所说的   用灵魂生活,到底隐藏着什么意思?

————————————————————————————————

失败,作为女儿。
失败,当个学生。
失败,做人这门课。
失败,生活这门课。


18岁,原来不是想象中那么好。
18了,我还像个小孩,走路都不会。
18了,别人都驾车了,我不会。
18了,该认真了,我依然得过且过。


她的话是多么的真,像把剑,一刺便中了红心。
是啊,他们大家都顶不顺我...
我不知道该怎么做?面对小孩,该怎么说话?面对大人,该说什么?驾车被骂,我只会冷冷地“哦”,但错误却依然重复...


承认,我失败,不敢面对,

就连打篇部落格,都...挣扎不已。
因自相矛盾的产生...是知道答案,却装作不知,被别人指点,又不肯面对...



每次的挫败感,为何都没有反省过来?
为什么...越陷越深?

嗯,我是个问题孩子,哦不,问题人物。
问题我知,大家心知。当被说出来(批评)时,我接受不来。

失去了,失去了,我失去了所有,所有你看不见的。

逃吧!我好想逃开!


这就是我糟糕的生活。

糟糕?或许也没那么糟糕吧?
当你因为没有鞋穿而哭泣时,应该意识到别人没有脚。


以上这句话,在我阅读看来时,觉得很可笑。
但当在真实情况时,它教会你的不止感恩,还有坚强生活下去。


晚安~:*

Yean.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Mmm....Yummy!

It's boring while downloading my favourite drama, so I decide to blog about today. A hang out with aunts and cousins, something we haven't done for a long time. We have done some window shopping and had brunch and an early dinner there. Madam Kwan's was our purpose to go MidValley. Its foods were satisfying but service of the day was Bad, due to holidays and the management of waiter and waitress were a mess. Our dessert-Banana fritters with ice cream never come, and finally cancelled it, bill and went away.

Then, Zanmai Sushi was our early dinner target. Bin has a "bottomless" stomach. We keep laughing him. He was like this "Oh, I m enough, I m full..." and then when the dish was served, we discussed and try out it and he took his chopstick and put a piece into his mouth, and we LAUGHED! Hahahahaha! The salmon there were NICE, it's thick and fresh. It was like melting as I put into my mouth, well...I m joking :P.

We, the children, eat all the way, Expensive French fries-Crazy potatoes, Gong Cha, finally Moo cow-yogurt ice cream!!! The price is reasonable and it's nice and healthy!

Today- I had a great time with my families!

Ciao~(done downloading...)

Xoxo, 
Yean Yee
20.08.2012

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Holidays, trip with Adults


I always admire somebody has a gang of friends, mix of boys and girls, and they do hang out with their friends, do take a lot of photos, nice memories bring along, and THAT IS DAMN GOOD FEEL ! I guess I never experience it before...sad case...


BUT there were some experience that I enjoyed it very much! Though it was not with someone I close with, some strangers, like friend's friends or cousin's friend....Sometimes I mingled with them but there were times I walked alone and enjoy the scenery along the journey myself. Guess I am the kind of person enjoy alone much more than a big gang, in some conditions. They are funny, people of kind that I was not familiar with, and I was suprised to observe some sides of people that they don't look from the outside.

  The 1st gang, is my cousin's friends. They do not talked politely, they spoke rude, but they are them. They are someone that I respected as they are older than me, and they knew more things about the social than me, of course. Their friendships make me admire. They chat,in naturally way, and "zat" each other rudely and it just feel so comfortably to be with them. They talk jokes and they are open minded. Adults are always more "open minded" compare to me, the 18 years old girl which is still look like a child and also think and act like a child. I laughed a lot while listen to their conversations. I love laughing and laugh easily. And laugh because it was funny, and never think about the condition if it is in my shoe. So I was thinking I will be laugh back next time, any time.


 
























( Taman Pertanian Malaysia, Shah Alam. 16.08.2012 )


 We should be appreciated to have what we had. I am greedy. I want more than that, well...I was happy to have such experiences. Though my ideal "hang out" is not accomplish, but in the future, it will. My friend always think that this kind of thinking is not neccessary, but I just can't stop myself from thinking and looking for it. I want it that way, but not by forcing it, but to experience it. Yuan Fen will bring it to me, I just need to wait for the day to come =)

The 2nd , I totally enjoyed the trip, both trips I did enjoy so much, but the 2nd I feel more to myself. I acted the way who I am, because my friends were there and I just show myself. This gang is kinder than the previous, as they talked to me and told stories of them. The gang with my sister was more to, I joined them, I was the "side person", though they did not excluded and ignore me at all, but they chat among themselves that I have no right to chip in. This was the first time I went to Broga Hills and it was more tougher trip than I expected. I love to climb to the peak and stand on the big stone and see the scenery of the town and touch the SKY ,feel the BREEZY and sip the FRESH AIR!








( Broga Hills, 400m at Seremban/ Semenyih(?). 19.08.2012 )


Both trips with different people were eye opener to me! Though I didn't make friends with them, but I got some experiences and I am sure next time I ll perform better. I used the word "perform " because, I take it as lesson, and I am learning something from them, from the trips.\


The negatives always be negative but there are also POSITIVES there.

Happy Holidays! =DDD


Xoxo, 
Yean Yee

Monday, July 30, 2012

谁是谁?

人就是那么奇怪,那么犯贱。
明明知道不该做的事,不应该像的那么偏激负面,却还是被头脑控制着,带着走,走向深渊。

跑吧!
跑步是件非常开心的事,让跑步训练自己的体力,毅力和耐力。
好高兴,我踏出第一步了!
我的愿望是可以明年可以参加马拉松赛。
那些选手在比赛过程会经历饥渴和身体非常疲惫,但他们会抵达终点,就算再累再渴,他们也会坚持到达终点。
这一点也够我学习的了,还有知易难行,然而我深信跑马拉松赛很有意义,不管 对身体或心灵。每一场跑马拉松,就好像走过一趟旅途,欣赏沿途风光也好,思路突然开窍也好,都回事难得的经验,并不是旁观者所能体会的。

今天经过六楼楼梯,看见壁挂着的静思语,恍然大悟自己变得好难相处的原因。
心宽。
到底要修炼多久?怎样修炼?才能有那种程度?
心宽一寸,受益三分。

虽然人际关系不好,虽然功课未完成,但我每天的活得很自己,而不是盲目生活,我看见自己,我感到自己的存在,我感到自己在学习。

一首歌代表的不仅仅是歌词里的意思,更是能唤醒一段时期的回忆。初中操步时大家一起哼的歌曲,我和朋友们的点滴。代表性也是其中之一的记忆唤醒剂。就好像想到Taylor swift 就会想到何钇宣,五月天就想到谢丽妍。
有好的,有坏的,凡是都有两面嘛,
但我很庆幸,某些歌带给我的美好回忆。这比不堪回首的回忆更值得...收藏。


加油啦!=D

30.7.2012